wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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