In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
