yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
