i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
My underwear smells like fireworks.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
