i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
