I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
