Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
