Whod you bang
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
