rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Text me some of your sweat
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
