How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
