Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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