If i come over, it means nothing
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He has the fingertips of a God
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