her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
