i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
3pm strippers are depressing
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How does it feel to date your dad?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
