I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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