Are we in a gay sports bar?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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