shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
