She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
