The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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