Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
