So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
