apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
