I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
