Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
