Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
