great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
