I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i think my mom watched the whole time
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
