drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
