Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
