i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Pants 0. Shit 1.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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