you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
