So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
