He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
you never un-have a 4some
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
