Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
