yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
