Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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