I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
