I smell stomach acid.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
