i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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