I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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