so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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