plz talk dirty to me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
