I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
