Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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