WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
