Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
