do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
