i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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