Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
