let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
