Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
