We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
