whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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